My first intership

You know you are about to cry when a surge of emotions attacks, threatening to overwhelm you; when your voice begins to break and you try desperately to make it sound normal but fail miserably; when tears well up your eyes and make your vision go blurred. You think, frantically, oh no god not this please not now I can’t make a scene here, and you try to reign your swelling of emotions in a desperate effort to stop the tears but can’t. They fall, drop by drop, gliding down your face. You blink them back furiously. You try to wipe them away with the back of your hand only to smear your cheeks even more and you think, faintly, so unsightly. You become hyperaware of other people’s presence in the room. Are they looking? You hope they aren’t. It is already bad enough. You berate yourself for behaving in a way so unbecoming of an adult. God, look at what you have done: you are making a scene and that is so embarrassing, so unprofessional. Your brain orders you to stop crying, but tears just keep coming out.

Continue reading


Just some nonsense on writing

writing_1484166c

It has been a long time since I last posted something on this site. If you are here for an update on Naruto fanfics, I’m afraid you will be disappointed. Worry not, for I have no intention to drop them. I will be back soon. Today is not the day, though. Today I just want to write something about myself.

For most of my life, words stay elusive. Be it in my mother tongue or my second language, finding the right words has always been an uphill battle which, more often than not I lose. I am the girl who is so clumsy with words she dares not to strike a conversation with strangers. I am the girl who hates making phone calls even for acquaintances because she fears she will run out of word to say. I am the girl who has been learning English for 11 years and still cannot produce some decent writings, which should be ridiculous, considering the fact my vocabulary is not that limited (by that I mean I don’t have to turn to dictionary much when I read articles from The New York Times). I know the words, but I can’t make them mine, and it’s so frustrating I feel like crying sometimes.

Most of the times, I struggle with words even in something as short as a status on social media. But once in a while words come to me naturally, I don’t even have to make an effort to choose the right ones or to organize them neatly and logically. Those are the times I feel like I have my voice back. It’s so relieving I feel like crying again.


[Naruto] Out Of My Mind – Chapter 4

a Naruto fanfic

Author | AngelOfDeath10

Pairing | GaaSaku & NaruHina

Genre | Humor & Romance

TranslatorAfter8

Link | http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2353406/1/Out-Of-My-Mind/

Continue reading


[Naruto] Out Of My Mind – Chapter 3

a Naruto fanfic

Author | AngelOfDeath10

Pairing | GaaSaku & NaruHina

Genre | Humor & Romance

TranslatorAfter8

Link | http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2353406/1/Out-Of-My-Mind/

Continue reading


[dịch][Naruto] Out Of My Mind – Chapter 2

a Naruto fanfic

Author | AngelOfDeath10

Pairing | GaaSaku & NaruHina

Genre | Humor & Romance

TranslatorAfter8

Link | http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2353406/1/Out-Of-My-Mind/

Continue reading


Vortex – Prologue

Vortex

Author | After8

Genre | Fantasy

Rating | T

Warning | Language/Violence

Summary | This world needs a hero, and while he’s at it he might actually give them one. It’s just playing the villain seems much more fun.

Continue reading


Survive

I remember writing this a while ago down in my notebook: “I will survive no matter how fucked up this world becomes.”
Now looking at that, I can’t help but smile.


One Drop in the Ocean

Yesterday morning my National Defense and Security Education teacher told us something I’ve long known, but still find it hard to accept: “We are just one drop in the ocean.”
So harsh, yet so true.
But then, he gave us an advice. “We may only be a drop in the ocean, but that vast ocean is made up of tiny drops like us.”
This one brightened up my already somber mood. It reminded me of Mother Teresa’s quote: “We ourselves feel that what we are doing is just a drop in the ocean. But the ocean would be less because of that missing drop.”
I may only be a drop in the ocean, but this tiny drop of water also helps to build up that vast ocean.


A Question of Talent

The day I went to my current university to complete the enrollment procedures, I was asked to fill out a registration form which required some personal information. When I handed the paper over to the teacher in charge, she quickly scanned through it and then asked me. “Don’t you have at least a talent or gift for something?”
As if it weren’t enough, she DID sound SURPRISED.

Of course by mentioning words like “talent” and “gift” she only meant to say “being quite good at something”, but even knowing that couldn’t help me from being completely rooted to the spot for a few seconds and even failed to come up with a proper answer afterwards.

Whenever I recall that moment, I can’t help but wonder is it that rare for a student to not have even a single talent for something, trivial as it might be?


A Question of Unchangeability

Can we change the nature of a person?
Can we change something that has already taken deep root in one’s mind?
Can we actually change it, or just learn to hide it better from others under beautifully decorated masks?
If I were to tear those masks apart, would I be able to see the real you?